Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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