There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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