first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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