Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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