YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
