Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
