can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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