i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
