She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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