This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
