he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
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