oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
