I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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