for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
