Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
