I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
