I need help removing her.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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