we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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