I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
