My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
