Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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