I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
