I don't think brook has ever known best
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
