Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
