He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
