So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
