Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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