we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
