the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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