pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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