Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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