if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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