Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize