At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
