Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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