we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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