he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
