you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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