the new term for farting is butt boxing.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
