Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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