it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
My cat gives me a boner
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
