She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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