So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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