i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
