You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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