I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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