there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
