good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
40s are totally the cure
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
i think i just lost a toe
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
