Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
