walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
