Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
