you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
