Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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