Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
