I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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