I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
