Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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