Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Be still, my beating vagina.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Randomize
