My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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