those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
