Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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