I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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