And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
