So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
did you just send me my own nude
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize